December 9, 2025 (Dec. 09, 2025)

ATTENDANCE

If you couldn't join us on December 9th, you were missed! We had 33 attendees, including Jesse Haglund, a guest of Tom Townsend.

INVOCATION

Annette Werner gave today’s invocation.

FIFTEENTH HANDSHAKE

This week’s greeter, Stu Siegner, declared Russ Shelton the lucky member to go fine-free!

WHO AM I?

I joined Rotary because I believe it's a great community organization that brings us all together. My favorite memory is the Wine Tasting. One fact you may not know about me is that my birthday is on Christmas.
I joined Rotary because we make a difference in the world. My favorite memory is the lobster dinner with blueberry pie. At one time, I played soccer in Germany.

ROTARIAN OF THE WEEK

Juliane Morian presented the trophy to Greg Schaefer for his help delivering poinsettias last week. His SUV carried 50 plants per delivery. Notice the twinkle in Greg's father's eye. Ernie Schaefer is in the background to the left of Greg. The Wednesday special delivery team delivered almost 700 plants.

HAPPY BUCKS

Tim Duncan drove the “massive” Rotary float in the Rochester Christmas Parade. When someone joked about how small the float really was, Tim didn’t miss a beat: “We don’t spend money on the float because the money we raise goes to support the community.”
Tim Crawford thanked everyone who helped with or attended this year’s parade. Tim has served as Parade Chair for 25 years! He announced that this was his final year and that he is looking forward to spending his winter in Florida.
Vito Pampalona expressed his appreciation for the Rotarians’ support for his visit last week to veterans at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center.
David Archbold, now driving a red Alfa Romeo Stelvio hybrid, shared a bittersweet farewell to his 2009 Prius—but happily paid a buck in honor of the Detroit Lions.
Tami Salisbury thanked all who attended last week’s Christmas party. The party was held at the Rochester Community House and was catered by The Flavor Lab Catering Co.

Jay Eastman, Head of Pointsettia Accounts Payable at the Eastman Home, was pleased to have collected the last few checks yesterday. Linda served as Sales Manager extraordinaire!
Linda Eastman thanked President-Elect Tami Salisbury for organizing the Christmas party. She gave a special shout-out to Blake McLellan’s children, who provided excellent gift suggestions for another group she is supporting with holiday gifts for underprivileged kids.
Ron Lichtle reported that he is happy to have shot Bambi’s "big evil uncle” last week. Bambi is safe once again!

BIRTHDAYS & ANNIVERSARIES

Birthday girl and boys: Jo Allen, Bob Lytle, and Tim Crawford are celebrating this week.
Rotary anniversaries: Peter Stuhlreyer is celebrating 19 years as a Rotarian.

CLUB ANNOUNCEMENTS

President Rachel Aviles announced that next week will be our final meeting of the year. We will also hold a collection to tip our waitstaff and the Cass Catering team, who prepare and serve our lunches each week.
Who am I?
- The Christmas birthday girl is Maggie Bobitz.
- Our European soccer player is David Archbold.
As President of Charities, Tim Duncan presented a $2,500 check to the Oakland County Deputy Sheriffs Association Family Benevolent Fund (OCDSA FBF), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization operating independently of the OCDSA. This volunteer-led organization—staffed by current and former deputies—serves the community with deep personal commitment and firsthand understanding of the challenges faced by those they support.
Blake McLellan reported that our poinsettia sale was a tremendous success. We sold 1,306 plants, raising $16,000 for Rochester Rotary Charities. Excellent work, team!

SONG LEADERS

Bob Lytle and Jerry Carvey were the song leaders and led us in singing "The Holly and the Ivy" and "Let's Remember Pearl Harbor" this week. We sang the Pearl Harbor song twice because it was unfamiliar to us. Jerry Carvey had a brother who, fortunately, survived the attack on Pearl Harbor, although it was a week after the attack before the family knew that.

SHERIFF'S REPORT

Sheriff Peter Stuhlreyer almost let Jay Eastman slide for showing up 25 minutes late, but then he remembered that mercy isn’t nearly as profitable as fines. “It all goes to Charities,” he said, as Jay’s wallet quietly whimpered.
Since Tim Crawford will be spending three whole months perfecting his tan in Florida, Peter presented him with a $45 “Sunshine Tax.” That’s $5 per week for desertion.
Sheriff Peter then claimed the Pearl Harbor song reminded him of the U of M fight song, because obviously, those two things belong in the same sentence. This inspired him to fine all the “Hoosiers” and “Losers” in the room, because, in Peter’s poetic universe, Hoosiers and losers rhyme, and that’s good enough.
Peter then noted that the Colts have brought back a quarterback who is a grandfather. This gave him hope that Roger Roller might still be drafted. Roger, start stretching.
Moving on to Today in History, Peter announced that not much has ever happened on December 9th, but he scraped together a few highlights:
- The first Encyclopedia Britannica was published in 1768, and Peter is fully convinced that Jerry Carvey still has his original copy on a bookshelf right next to his rotary phone and abacus.
- December 9, 1971, was the last day anyone walked on the moon. Blake McLellan was fined for believing the moon landings were faked, a Millennial conspiracy theory that Peter stomped out with great joy. Blake is recovering.
- Searching for the “smartest person in the room,” Peter asked Vince Mattina how many questions are in the Four-Way Test. Vince got it right instantly, so obviously, everyone else had to pay a buck for not being Vince. That’s just math.

Sheriff Peter asked Stuart Siegner if it was safe to assume he now has an artificial Christmas tree after the last time he tried cutting a real tree down with a chainsaw didn't go so well.
With Christmas 16 days away, Vito Pampalona was fined for having 14 days before he even thinks about shopping. Vito calls it “tradition”; Peter calls it "procrastination fine".
Still on the hunt for more victims, sorry, fineable acts—Sheriff Stuhlreyer consulted AI for gift ideas. AI suggested:
- a digital meat thermometer
- a webcam birdfeeder (because apparently looking out your own window is far too analog)
- UGG slippers, and
- digital picture frames
- Peter announced he’s getting Tim Duncan a metal recycling bin—perfect for disposing of Tim’s golf clubs, or as Peter described them, “shiny metal objects in need of a permanent home.”

Sheriff Stuhlreyer closed by admitting that Rotarians are genuinely good people, which makes finding faults every week a real struggle. But worry not, he claims his superpower is making everyone incredibly generous every Tuesday at 12:30. And judging by the day’s haul, he's not wrong.

Thanks to Sheriff Stuhlreyer's creative enforcement, we raised an additional $176 for our scholarship program! Remember, these “fines” are all in good fun and serve a great purpose: building camaraderie and raising funds for our charitable efforts, especially scholarships. Let’s continue living out the Rotary motto, "Service Above Self," with enthusiasm, punctuality, and a healthy dose of Rochester pride and humor!

SPEAKER

Our speaker was not able to attend today due to a hospitalization. We will reschedule him for a future meeting. He is worth the wait!