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Sheriff David Blair kicked things off with a bang—by fining Bill Ebinger for the ultimate husband faux pas: referring to his wife and her Assistance League colleagues as OLDER WOMEN. Oh no, he did not! Bill, shame, shame. You’re lucky your wife didn’t hear it live… but she will read this. 😬
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Next up on the fine line: Brian Griffin, a key conspirator—I mean, organizer—for the upcoming Summer Social, where he’ll be chordinating or coordinating the epic Dueling Pianos performance. Fingers crossed for no musical mishaps, Brian!
- Then, our Sheriff took us on a wild ride through the calendar of Very Important National Months:
- National Salad Month… sharing the spotlight with National BBQ Month. Lettuce and ribs, living in harmony.
- Sheriff David warned that Red Dye 40 might be banned during National Strawberry Month. Not to sass the Sheriff too hard, but Red Dye 40 is more of a cereal-and-candy villain, not hanging out with your fresh fruit. 🍓
- National Chip Your Pet Month—which spiraled into a passionate conversation about leashes, harnesses, and yes, children on tethers. (No judgment.)
- National Correct Your Posture Month, where Sheriff David encouraged us all not to sit like gargoyles in our cars or dangle our feet out the windows like we're on spring break.
- And, because one day isn’t enough, National Pass Gas/Fart Day (officially Jan. 7) is now a month-long celebration. Let the air flow freely, folks.
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On a more serious—and genuinely meaningful—note: Mark your calendars for the Memorial Day Parade of Heroes at 9:00 AM, starting at Mt. Avon Cemetery, Rochester, ending at Veterans Memorial Pointe, Rochester Hills. Cooper Salisbury (son of Rotarian Tami Salisbury) will sing the National Anthem. Don’t miss this moment of honor and community pride.
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And that’s all the sass that’s fit to print! Today’s fines totaled $179, all going to support our scholarship program—proof that a bit of laughter (and a few jabs) go a long way.
SPEAKER

Zack Thorn passed the Rotarian of the Week Award to Ron Lichtle for always giving him such a warm welcome. Keep up the good work, Ron!
ROCHESTER ROTARY CHARITIES UPDATES - Rochester Rotary Charities presented a $2,500 check to On the Wings of Angels, a nonprofit that supports individuals experiencing domestic or physical abuse. Jo Jo and Paul Dries accepted the donation, which Charities President Tom Townsend presented.
Marilyn Trent: Champion for Pollinators and Environmental Stewardship
garden planting, and hands-on workshops, Rochester Pollinators has helped make the City of Rochester one of only five cities nationwide to receive the National Wildlife Federation’s Mayor’s Monarch Pledge Champion Award. The City of Rochester Hills has also signed the Mayor's Monarch Pledge.
It contains 290 native trees, plants, and shrubs and is expected to become self-sustaining within three years. Central to this method is selecting the right combination of native species for the site’s specific conditions.