June 03, 2025 (Jun. 03, 2025)

Before he started slapping folks with “fines,” Sheriff David Blair gave our guests a friendly heads-up: it's all in good fun—and every dollar goes straight to our scholarship fund, not his vacation account.

Now, let’s talk tarot. Apparently, selling a reading was like pulling teeth. The Sheriff couldn’t help but wonder—if Paul Haig had coughed up a little more, would he have scored a guaranteed happily-ever-after?
Ernie had a second Paul Harris award burning a hole in his pocket, but alas, the recipient was MIA. No award, no glory—yet. But Sheriff David wasn’t about to let the rest of the Paul Harris Fellows off the hook. Each one got a $5 fine, just for being fancy.
Then came poor Tom Townsend, who was called out for a tragic rounding error. Our donation to the Clinton River Watershed Council was $5,298. Cue the math emergency! The Sheriff made him pay the extra two bucks to make it a clean $5,300.
David Archbold? Fined. His crime? Being vertically gifted next to Sharna Hatcher, who gleefully pointed out the nearly two-foot difference between them. Height discrimination? Maybe. Hilarious? Absolutely.
Linda Eastman found herself in hot water because some members weren’t vibing with her ultrasound flyer. Apparently, it should have featured a tamale instead of a lifesaver. Because nothing says “medical imaging” like a spicy snack, right?
And just as the Sheriff turned to roast John Gabor… poof! John had already pulled an Elvis and “left the building.” So naturally, everyone at John’s table got dinged instead. Classic.
🌈To wrap it up, Sheriff David reminded us all: June is Pride Month. Whether you’re LGBTQIA+, Irish, and chasing that pot of gold, or just plain proud to be a Rotarian, you better pony up.

All said and sassily done, our happy Sheriff raised a fabulous $234 today. Every cent goes to support future scholars… one fine at a time.

SPEAKER

Roger Roller, Chair of the Rochester Rotary Scholarship Committee, presented scholarships to this year's recipients — all of whom, coincidentally, are members of the Rochester High Interact Club. Each student received a $1,500 check, a book related to their intended college major, a copy of Rotary magazine, and an article from The New York Times about Kerry Carpenter, a Detroit Tigers outfielder who has shared his journey of loss and faith as a way to help others.

Mia Shellgrove received a renewable Paul Harris Scholarship for her tuition at Michigan State University, where she plans to study kinesiology. Her service project focused on restocking little libraries around the community. Roger presented her with a book on anatomy and physiology.

Owen Glover also received a renewable Paul Harris Scholarship for his studies at Michigan State University, where he plans to major in supply chain management. His service project involved spending time with newly diagnosed cancer patients, offering companionship and conversation.

Colin Simonis received the Don Pixley Memorial Scholarship to attend Grand Valley State University, where he plans to study business. His service project involved tutoring students with special needs at his high school. He received a copy of The Undoing Process.

Lily LaLonde was awarded the Rochester Community Service Scholarship to support her studies at Oakland University, where she plans to major in political science. Her favorite service project was participating in Purple Pinky Day. She received the book Doing Justice.

Spriha Shibu received the Sally Case Courage Scholarship for her studies at the University of Michigan, where she plans to pursue a degree in biomedical engineering. As Secretary of the RHS Interact Club, her favorite service project was helping clean up local parks.

In addition to these new recipients, previous Paul Harris Scholarship winners received the next installment of their four-year awards. Altogether, the Rochester Rotary Club distributed more than $16,000 in scholarships this year.

Following the presentations, Bob Lytle shared a poem he wrote in honor of the scholars.

A Scholar’s Reward

by Robert A. Lytle

I’ve heard it said by those who know,
“Excellence is its own reward.”
But when it’s recognized by others,
With words of praise and funds included,
It brings respect and pride to those
Whose high school days were wisely spent.

Rotarians here have all chipped in
With Happy Bucks and Sergeant’s fines,
Which formed a scholarship for grads
To pack along with clothes and books
And carry off to ivied walls
Thereby to ease your fiscal woes.
We hope, when college years are done,
You’ll join our ranks, recite our creed . . .
“Service Above Self” it says . . .
Simple words for wondrous deeds
But until then this well-earned prize
Will start your college days with joy.
Come back, real soon, join us for lunch
And tell us how your school year’s going.