15th HANDSHAKE
Roger Roller
ROTARIAN OF THE WEEK
Jerry Gross honored Mark Tisdel
CLUB ANNOUNCEMENTS
Per George Krozier, the 28OC16 Lobster Fest will be gigantic and all who are left out will become "crabby" and need copious quantities of Prozac to cope with their depression.
Bill Ebinger encouraged all to bring their rakes and shovels to winterize Rotary Park at 9am on Saturday 22OC16. Daffy Rotarians are invited to plant 300 daffodils as part of Rochester's "Golden Bicentennial celebration. Bill also assured all that he was not around when Rochester was formed.
Kelly Dean announced the first Rochester Rotary "Thirsty Thursday" would be start this Thursday, 13OC16 at 4pm at the Royal Park Hotel. Kelly said that the ending time was flexible.
Assistant District Governor Rhonda Panzcyk reminded us to observe World Polio Day on 24OC16.
Our own Mother Mary Grace McCarter informed us of the upcoming Poinsettia Sale. This is a huge fundraiser for the Club. Key points are 3 sizes of plants and since the Club is aging, MGMc ordered the envelopes with larger print this year.
SONGS
Bob Lytle led us in two songs; "Heart of My Heart" in honor of our speaker the Emergency Room Director at Crittenton Hospital and "Hey Look Me Over" acknowledging the painful election season we are now enduring.
SHERIFF
Inspector Stuart Seigner pried $217 with unreasonable fines befitting our political season. Jim Kennedy was hit with a $3 mouth and sleeve fee. Cary Riggs paid $2 for hearing, or not, about George Krozier's Lobster Fest announcement.
Super Sleuth Stu informed all that he had moved himself during the past week to a new home that has a pool. So it cost you a $1 if you ever moved yourself, broke stuff while moving, moved around, hired "Two Men and a Truck, watched TV while you wife moved, played pool, held a cue, joined a betting pool, pooled your funds, filled a pool with water. Note: it cost you $2 if you never moved, could not afford a pool or drained a pool.
If your alma mater's football team was undefeated it cost $1 while teams under 50/50 cost $2. If you rooted for the Lions it was the full $3.
Honoring Christopher Reeves death on 10OC2004 "tricky Dick" Stu fined those who had watched a Superman movie $1 for each viewing, $2 for every time you pretended to be Superman and $3 if you convinced your spouse that you were Superman. Watching the movie "Somewhere In Time" cost you an additional $1 and if you for every night you stayed in the Mackinaw Island Grand Hotel, you got taxed $2. Since he was on a real roll, our own "Dick Tracy" continued to fine anyone that ever watched a Al Pacino movie while charging an additional $2 for those enjoying "Scent of a Woman". It cost $3 if you watched it more than once. Watching "Saturday Night Fever" topped the charts with a $3 excess fee and if you ever had a fever it only cost $1.
Ladies who had declined a date with Jim Koester were fined $2 for each occurrence. If you could not name the original seven comedians on "Saturday Night Live" the ignorance fee was just $1. If you ever sang in the shower there was a "Pavarotti "turning over in his grave" $1 fine. If you watched the movie "Alive" it cost $1. If you ever ate bacon you were charged a "Boss Hogg" fine of $2. If you ever ate raw Tuna, it cost you a "Charley Tuna" fine of $3.